You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
