these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
