i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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