If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize