help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize