We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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