Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
