Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
