i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
