are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
soo... how was my night?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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