i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
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