I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
