Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
