The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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