Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
