Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
