I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize