If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
