Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
