Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
