gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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