help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize