i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize