i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
we're making bets on your personal life
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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