i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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