like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
