its not stalking. its research.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize