His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
