I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
