He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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