your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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