if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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