Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
