Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
