doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
