fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
