You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
