Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
