That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
...so i touched it.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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