I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize