fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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