I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
