just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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