erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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