I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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