when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
oh god the rape fog is back!
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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