i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
