We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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