I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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