i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
