biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
