Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
