normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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