so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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