Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
