spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
