4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
