Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
