the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
