Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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